Art of Seduction

Seducer Types

In terms of seducers, I've been told by a friend that I am a perfect mixture of both the Charismatic and the Rake.

I'd say that my biggest mistake throughout middle school, high school, even early stages of college was that I cared too much. At first I wanted a relationship to fill this void that was inside of me, someone who understood the pain of my childhood wounds. I also learned the hard way that while a strong emotional connection can develop with someone with shared life experiences, not everyone with these shared life experiences share the same morals and values that you do. It is also safe to say that many of us do not exactly have the best taste in romantic partners in early adolescence because that is a stage in which everyone is still maturing.

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene is one of the greatest books I have ever read in terms of dating and self-help. A common misconception about this book is that when people look at the title they already think to themselves, 'this is a misogynistic book that teaches you how to get laid.' Not only is this not necessarily the case, but this book applies to women just as well as men.

This book contains four categories: the Seducers (types of men and women that people find attractive), the Anti-Seducers (types of people that others find repulsive), the Seducer's Victims (this section explains what people are looking for in terms of a relationship/romantic partner), and the Seductive Process (The steps you would want to take with your romantic interest) which comes in four phases.

The first phase of the seductive process consists of stirring interest and desire. This phase consists of when you first meet and start to get to know each other. Robert Greene could not have said it better when he said the seductive process is all about immersing yourself in someone else's world. After immersing yourself into their world, you could get a feel for their tastes, what they find appealing, and what they could be looking for in terms of a potential partner.

The second phase of the seductive process is to lead your interest astray, creating both pleasure and confusion. Upon reading Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, I remember reading a passage that taught me something very important. One can not know love if one does not know hate. One can not know hope if one does not know fear. One can not know triumph if one does not know failure. One can not know pleasure if one does not know pain. This comes from a common truth that it is in our human nature to constantly want what we do not already have. People often take for granted of what they already possess unless they have reason to believe that they might lose it.

The third phase of the seductive process is about deepening the effect through extreme measures. This phase comes when you start to get to know the person on a deeper level. When getting to know someone, they eventually start to share their insecurities with you when they start to feel more comfortable with you. The best way to approach this is with an open mind about the experiences that you may not be familiar with. At the same time, you need to stay true to your morals and values because that is what makes you uniquely you. If your interest tells you something that does not align with your morals or values, take caution. That person may have changed in terms of growth and maturity from past mistakes, and keep in mind you may have had a wild reckless past too, but unless you see that they are actively trying to change for the better, it is pointless to even consider pursuing someone who is not bettering themselves.

The final phase consists of moving in for the kill. Physical touch is one of the most well-known love languages and intimate moments are always going to be a part of a relationship. I would highly recommend aligning your intimate moments based on what your partner would like. I would also recommend getting creative about this. One thing I can not stress enough is to extend the foreplay for as long as possible. While your partner may have superficial beauty, it is your romantic interest's personality and heart that should captivate you. Therefore, be in tune with the desires of your partner. Also, do not be afraid to bring up something that you desire or wish your partner could do more of. Remember, there is a difference between having needs and being needy.

Love

The overall message of this book is that true love consists of unconditionally wanting what is best for that person, whatever that might be. Believe me when I say there is a tremendous difference between loving someone for who they are and loving the way someone makes you feel about yourself.

There are a multitude of factors when it comes to the saying "nice guys finish last." Most "nice guys" are not nice out of the goodness of their own hearts, but rather to gain something out of being "too nice." That is why the best attitude to carry in terms of people is to set no expectations and to always have a backup plan in mind. People can often sense more about people than they are open about out, this includes sensing expectations.

I was once told that a man's worth is determined by how much honesty he is able to tolerate. As long as the honesty comes from a place of respect and genuinely wanting what is best for that other person without the intent of disrespect, your romantic interest will respect you immensely for that. If they do not respect you for your honesty, then their resistance will most likely be from a place of immense insecurity.